Interview with Tay
Interviewed by: Sydney Palmer (Interviewer) & Kristin Baetz (Outreach Director and TBI survivor)
Could you tell me about yourself and start wherever you like.
My name is Servontay Moore, but people call me Tay for short. I was in a traumatic car accident 5 years ago, July 3, 2019, when I suffered a TBI. And, from that day on, I have been trying to move forward and trying to regain myself. Everybody knows that you never can step away from your TBI, that it will always be with you no matter how far along you are. You are always going to have some symptoms. Everyday I try to spread awareness to people and say, “you can do it! Don't give up!”
What are the symptoms that you experience from your injury?
Right now, I'm actually using a cane to walk around and that's because the TBI is kind of like a stroke. My left side is actually slower than my right side so it's the left side that has to catch up.
Did you have damage to the right side of your head?
Yeah, I had to get a plate in my head because my skull cracked.
What are some routines that have helped you cope with the symptoms that you have experienced?
In the beginning, I was doing puzzles just to help with my memory and my brain. Writing helped a lot because I was actually an author before my injury. I had published two books, Moore Memoirs and Even Moore Memoirs, before my accident and just to get back into my routine I continued to write. Since my accident, I have published two more books: 3ven Moore Memoirs and Moore To Come.
Have you taken any other specific steps to recover to the best of your abilities?
I actually started to talk to a therapist because at first, I was like “I'm not going to talk to a therapist, why do I need to talk to a therapist?” But ever since my accident, it has helped me a lot to get out of my head and to know I'm not different from anybody and that I just had an accident.
What is the biggest difference you have noticed before and after your accident?
I'm more aware of the little things in life, how short it can be and how in a second, everything can change. I’m not saying I wasn't thinking about this before but now I'm more aware of it. I'm trying to live life to the fullest because it can be snatched away from me in a quick second or in any instance.
Do you live with anyone that is supporting you or are you living independently?
I live with my parents.
Are they supporting you on a day to day basis?
Of course! Since day one.
Since your accident happened 5 years ago, how did covid impact your recovery process?
Oh, covid was, excuse my language, hell! I had to stop going to my physical therapist. Once the restrictions were over, I had to go back and start all over again. But during covid and on the days I wasn't going to physical therapy, I actually had to do it on my own because I didn't want to be left behind. And for covid to happen in the beginning of my therapy, it was just heartbreaking.
Were you able to have access to the resources you previously had?
No, because there were a lot of cautionary measures and they shut things down so they didn't get everyone sick.
Were there any telehealth practices put into place like zoom, for example?
There was. It wasn’t the same because you can't get that physical interaction.
Who are some people you are most thankful for that supported you during your recovery process?
I am most thankful for my mom, my dad and my physical therapist. They see what I can’t see. I am my biggest critic. Every little thing I'm like “man I have to do better than that” and my parents are like “no you’re doing good.” They tell me I take good strides everyday and at the end of each day they remind me of all the things I have done. My parents are also like my biggest doctors because every time I would go to the doctors, my parents would look up stuff and then let me know what it means. At one point I was scared to look up things because I didn't want to see the bad things.
Are there any important insights you have gained throughout your journey to recovery? I know you have touched on a few already but is there anything you would like to add?
That if you keep working towards something, it will eventually happen. “You will break the glass soon,” as I like to say. You just have to keep working towards it. What I always say is, “energy is contagious.” You need to have good energy around you. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I have bad days where I have been in the “dumps.” But you can't stay in the “dumps,” you have got to get out or you will forever be in the “dumps.” You have got to look at the small things because the small things add up to bigger things in life.
Have you noticed any gaps in our health care, aside from the period during COVID, that you wished you had access too? Possibly a program that didn’t exist when you needed it to?
I would say just the insurance people answering the phones instead of them moving me along to an automated voicemail. I hate that! Because I had to wait so long to get in contact with somebody and then once I get in contact with them, it's like Christmas! I’m just so happy! I also wish they had more in person people to tell you how to get there instead of having to go and google how to get what I need from insurance companies.
You have shared your steps towards your sobriety which is really amazing that you were vulnerable to open up to us about it. What has your journey looked like?
I was drinking since I was 21. I was drinking to show that I was still a normal person and I would say to myself I’m still normal Tay and that I could still do what I would have done before. But that was my downfall. After the accident my drinking got worse.
Some other people with brain injuries could relate, wanting to feel like you can live the life you lived before at a “go, go, go level” for all the things you did before. Especially as alcohol is a social substance and something that is a part of our adult lives.
Yeah, because I didn't want anyone to treat me like I was a baby or that I couldn't do anything. So, my thought was that I could use liquor because you can’t use liquor as a child, only when you're an adult. So, that was my warped thinking.
Do you want to share your journey towards sobriety and why that became an important life change for you?
Because I would just drink by myself and that was a tell-tale sign because I would have never drank by myself before. And then my mom actually brought it to my attention and she said, “you can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to see you going down this path.” So, I reached out to one of my good friends who went to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and it gave me the steps on how to do it.
You found AA the most helpful?
Yes. It was the only helpful thing for me. Because you get stories from other people who have lived that life before and you are always connecting with them and it helped me so much!
Please take a minute and think about anything you wish to add to your healing journey.
Once you let go of an addiction your life gets better. You start regaining the things that you thought that you’d lost in life and you start feeling better about yourself.
Do you feel better physically?
I feel better overall and I feel like I have a whole new body now!
I want you to share a little bit about your journey to publishing and writing. Were you a writer before?
Yes, I was.
So, tell me about those passions now that you are continuing to do it.
I continued to do it because I didn't want people to think I was broken. So, that's when I wrote my third book because I had lots to talk about. Before my accident, I wasn't going to write anymore because I didn't have anything to talk about. After my accident, I was like, “I got something to talk about!” So, in my third book, I talk about my accident and the recovery I went through with covid and everything which was during my first year, post-accident with a TBI. Personally, I didn't like the book. I just did it to show people that there is nothing wrong with me and that I still do the same things I've always done. And then in my fourth book, I actually took my experiences with the TBI and made it into a motivational piece. You don't have to have experienced a TBI to be motivated by this book, you can just be going through a hard time and be motivated by my examples. I hate to sound so cliché, but I think this is my best book ever! Because this one is about real life and my other books were just jokes.
How are your sales going on amazon?
They are actually going good! Better than I thought!
Do you get money back if I purchase on amazon? If not, what's the best way to buy it so you get the most profit?
I would purchase it on amazon, it is the easiest way.
You said you were writing after your accident and during the pandemic, did writing help you get through it and work through what you were going through?
I would say it was like a journal for me. No one wants to say “journal” but that was me getting out of my head. I was tired of explaining to people what I was going through and now if you want me to explain you may as well read it.
Who encouraged you to write? Or did it come from you solely?
It came from me because before the accident I wrote 2 books and I was waiting to write the third one but I had no topic to write about. I hate to say that my accident gave me a topic to write on, but it did. A lot of people told me not to release my third book because they thought I wasn't ready. But, I'm hard headed.
Who was discouraging you to release your book?
I would say my mom. She told me I wasn't ready because she knew the type of writer I was and she knew I wanted to have a book release but I couldn't do that during the pandemic. But me being me, I was like, “I'm going to do it.” And that's why I have seen an increase in my sales from my third to fourth book because we aren't in a pandemic anymore and I actually got to have a book release on May 21, 2024, on my birthday.
Where did you have the book release?
In Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
Can you share a little about how that experience felt for you?
Oh, it felt amazing because the girl who moderated this book release actually moderated my first two books. She couldn't moderate the third one because I didn't have a book release. But this fourth one was very special to me. I had people come out and see me and the progress that I had. And I got to talk to a crowd of people.
Did you do a speech?
I did. It was a question and answer. At that point, I felt alive again! I got to show my personality again! I never want a TBI to describe the person I am. A TBI is just an acronym to me. We are so much more than this. That is why I really wanted to get into the TBI community. To show that we can still live the normal life that we used to live. Because going to physical therapy, I see a lot of people who have injuries and they just want to give up. And I just can't be that person. No person is going to cry for me.
How would you say your day to day is now?
I do my day to day as more independent. I am out in my community. I can actually hop in an Uber and go somewhere and feel free.
Did you have a hard time writing in regards to the act of writing or thinking or putting it all together?
It was kind of like riding a bike. As I mentioned before, when I first got into my accident, I was doing puzzles to regain my cognitive skills, so it never left me.
Were you able to physically write?
I was left handed before but now I am right handed. For my books, I typed on the computer.
Did you teach yourself how to write with your right hand?
Yes, my mom used to help me. I used to be so discouraged and thought my writing was ugly. But after a couple months, she showed me the difference between now and then and it went from looking like “trash” to “alright.” When people purchase my book, I send them a letter and write and sign it with my right hand.
Do you have use of your left hand for writing?
Not really. It's there but it's not “there.” I get Botox so it's more relaxed.
Is there anything else you would like to add to this interview?
I just want to say, don't be afraid, if you have a TBI, to look up things about yourself. Once I started to look up things about myself, I wasn't scared anymore. It’s natural for a person to be scared to look at the results but I want everyone to reach out to a group of people like you because then you can see others who look like you. You will be like, “wow! I went through that too!” For example, when you asked me if I had Botox I was just like, “yes.” But if I went to a “normal” person, they would be like, “oh, you get Botox? For what?” But when I told you, you understood why I got it. It wasn't like I was speaking a foreign language.
Do you feel like there is enough research or information available in regards to your injury or your symptoms? Or is there a lack of information?
I think there is a lot of research. Like I said, I was shying away from looking things up because I didn't want to see anything bad or discouraging. But once I stopped doing that, I could connect with others and realized “oh, other people go through this too.”
Anything else you want to add?
Buy my book! Moore To Come by Tay Moore on Amazon!